daughter of a warrior king

it's like she's tryna make up for what she ain't but/ she's a saint/ but so confused/ cause she's been rejected by all these dudes/ that tell her on a scale of 10 she's a two/ but that ain't true if she only knew/ In Christ she is loved she secure and accepted/ She'll never be rejected by God who's elected her/ Her beauty is her Godliness/ and she ain't gotta try to flaunt it cause it's obvious/ Identity is found in the God we trust/ Any other identity will self destruct - Identity lyrics by Lecrae

i've been wrestling with this idea of identity for the past couple of months... it's not a matter of not knowing who i am or what i believe in. but rather, i see that i find my identity is so much less than what it truly is.

for so long, i would think of my identity as the single, good-girl who had a couple prodigal years and has struggled with eating disorders. yeah, i saw that there were a couple other ways to describe me, but that pretty much encompassed who i saw myself as. they were measurements of things that i'd accomplished or reminders of perceived failures. i desired to be married, to be skinny and to be looked to as a strong individual that could be looked up to.

but as God's been showing me this idea of identity, it's forced me to rethink a LOT. if my identity is purely as a precious daughter of God and all the other false identities will self-destruct, then i am no longer defined by anything less.

and while thinking about this, i remember something i read over the summer:

"When a certain set of desires rules our hearts, we reduce prayer to the menu of human desire. Worse, we shrink God from his position of all-wise, all-loving, all-powerful Father to a divine waiter we expect to deliver everything we ask. But God will not shrink to this size. He will only be our Father and King, who "satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's" (Ps 103:5). He knows what is best, and he will not let there be peace until he alone controls our hearts. He is a Warrior King, who will not rest when we are captive to other kings. He fights for us, the thoughts and desires of our hearts." -Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands

so not only is my identity purely as a daughter of God, but He is fighting for my heart! He's fighting FOR ME?

i see such an unbelievable picture of grace in all this. and it makes me smile.